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2007-10-21 -- 10:47 p.m.

deph has been moody. lethargy has overpowered my entire being.

was lazy and sleepy this morning when i went for tuition. hung on till the next tuition. so tt's like 6.5hours out of home.

then i thought i wld meet dear. but then as it turned out, he wasn't very keen to meet up. so i was tired, and pist off.
then i cried on the bus. which, on hindsight, was really retarded.

went home. in pist mode.
mom came and talk to me, then i felt quite irritated cos she disrupted my isolation and serenity.
mom: so are you eating dinner with me
me: no
mom: why
me: im meeting ben (which i already planned not to meet)
mom: har, u not eating dinner with me?
me: what dinner
mom: dinner with me la
then she walked off.

then i felt that something was really wrong. and then i remembered like 2seconds later, that today's her birthday.

then i felt really sorry and all, then i was crying again.

then later on i asked her where will we be having dinner
mom: duno la. nobody say anything. i want to sleep. you want to go out, go out loh!

was in deep shit.
then i felt so bad for making her so sad.

i tink it's like karma. my bf made me sad. then i made my mom sad.

so i cried for awhile in my room. and was simultaneously trying to come with the coke light preso, which is quite easy to do, it's the preso tt's abit tricky, which i haven't been bothered to think abt.

then i fell asleep.
so did my mom.
so did meiy the day she was sad.
i think sleep is a good form of escapism.
of course you must not be so sad you can't sleep in the first place.
but i think you get tired after crying for sometime.

then i woke up.
and was perfectly fine.

me: eat lidat ah
dad: ya loh
me: then nobody buy cake?
dad: harrr?
me: cake la
dad: cake? wad cake?
me: omg. u also duno?
dad: what what?

so ya.. that's how sad today is.

went out to meet dear since i wasn't angry anymore.
most of the times, after sleep i will realize that i could have had better temper. but it nv worked that way before i get my 'leave-me-alone' sleep.

so i went to buy cake.
came home.

she didnt even bother to put on the candles. she just cut the cake.
but she sounded ok la. i think.
but my dad was sleeping. so ya. oh wells.

redeeming factors:
first tuition with my favourite girl was not bad. she's quite stressed cos her sch is crazy. i think she has 8 subjects. all examined in 3 consecutive days. which is really crazy. then her mom tip-ped me for tuition fees.

aunty: so how? today last lesson for the year. then you one month no income? can anot?
me: can can... take a break loh.

nv met parents who realized that im just a student who is tutoring to support myself.
this one is special.